What you say to yourself!
It’s been long I haven’t written anything. I have lost confidence in writing. The person who was known for writing long letters to friends, applications for government offices, diary of imagination, was lost.
Why did it happen?
Lack of confidence, fear, inferiority complex, comparison with others, I never knew what was it. I was affirming negative about my skills. It took me years to gain that confidence to get back to writing. But there is a long journey.
I still remember the day I met Jene. She is not just beautiful but with amazing language skill. Her accent in talking, her tone, her vocabulary amazing! She is also kind. But that night I kept thinking about Jene. I had started comparing myself with her. My first mistake!
In my thoughts I was comparing her knowledge about language to mine. This continued for couple of days. I used to meet Jene almost every day and every night think about all good I admired in her language and creep about all that I lack compare to her. My second mistake!
It was almost a month I was so negative about myself and suddenly I felt I am losing confidence in speaking and writing. I was unable to express my views. As in back of my mind I use to feel is it the correct word I am using or is sentence construction is same. Fear had entered in me.
It had started affecting my work also. I could never see the appreciation I was getting for good job. I could only hear negative remarks I use to get at work due to silly mistakes in my presentations. I accepted I lack communication skills. My third and biggest mistake!
All these were terrible. I was getting suffocated inside me. I tried reading articles on improving communication skills on Internet but couldn’t focus. One day I came across an article related to “Mind what you say to yourself” and it changed my life. I realized all that had happened because I always said in my mind that I am not a good with language. This actually took away my skills.
Mind what you say to yourself
An article said, “Research has shown that we have between 45,000 and 51,000 thoughts a day which is nothing less than 150 to 300 thoughts a minute. Research has also shown that almost 80% of these thoughts are negative.” These 51,000 thoughts are “sub-conscious” thoughts and are below our conscious awareness level. When you’re not aware of your thoughts, they most likely to be negative. And not being aware of your thoughts tends to cause a downward fall. It gets worse, like it happened with me. Whatever you are thinking about, 90% gets carried over to the next day’s 51,000 thoughts. So, if you’re thinking negative thoughts, you will cause yourself to think more negative thoughts. This is not going to get you out anywhere.
So the game began. The challenge was to track these 51,000 thought and to reduce the figure of 80% to as low as possible. I read about affirmations and learnt they actually help make sub-conscious thoughts conscious. Affirmations make you consciously aware of your thoughts. When you start making conscious positive thoughts, you actually become more aware of the negative thoughts that are always threatening to take over.
It was challenging. It is not easy to be positive always. The more efforts you take to think positive doubt and fear start challenging your commitment to positivity. I cried a lot during my initially days and only prayed God to give me strength to fight this battle.
One thing I learnt in very hard way was “Never force to change your thoughts, just change your attitude.” Every time I told myself when a negative thought came to me “I am not going to think negative”, itself was a negative thought. That’s the reason there was no change happening. I had to do something differently. So I changed my attitude. Now every time a negative thought entered, I started thinking “it’s ok, it will go soon”. Things changed. There was Magic all over. I had started feeling so good, happy and joyful.
My Daily Dose – Daily Affirmations
From that day till today I practice Affirmations. I always mind about what I say to my self. Some Affirmations I repeat to myself everyday are:-
- I Love, Accept and Approve of Myself.
- All is well in the world I live.
- I am successful in all that I do.
- I am a Money Magnet.
- My mind is always full of positive and energizing thoughts.